Words From a Son

BP’s father passed away Sunday, December 20th, after a complicated, painful, 9 week hospital stay.  He was 61.

Needless to say, it’s been a zoo around here.

Today was the funeral.

I wanted to share the eulogy BP gave with you.  In it, he honestly describes his relationship with his father and the things he learned from him.

Here it is:

Thank you all for being here and thank you for the warm words of encouragement and affection you’ve shown to our family.

I just wanted to take a moment and say a few things about my Dad. To reflect upon and honor his life.

Stoic…

That’s what his surgeon called him after a few weeks of treating him. Dad was not forthcoming with his pain or discomfort so it became harder for the surgeon to understand Dad and treat him.

The term comes from ancient Rome. A Stoic was a member of a school of philosophy around 300 b.c. holding that the wise man should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submissive to natural law. I must have searched for that word for most of my adult life to describe him.

He was not completely stoic but he wouldn’t be sore at that description of him. He had moments of passion and joy, sorrow and grief. But like many of the men of his generation, they keep their emotions inside. For better or worse it seems.

But if Dad was stoic, then I was certainly his polar opposite. And that made for a challenging relationship at times. We didn’t see eye to eye on alot of things, but who does. We had no traditional Father-Son relationship. And until recently I would say that I was bitter about that.

Now having 3 boys of my own and looking back I realized some things my Dad always knew…Kids are greedy; for your time and attention, there is never enough of either, people are flawed, and God has perfect timing. I’ve thrown bitterness out the window. And he and I came to peace with our relationship in the past weeks of his life.

Fathers know that we learn from examples, good or bad. Today I can tell you that man left a number of profound good examples behind. My father was a good man, flaws and all. I loved him and will miss him.

Dad died Sunday morning around 8am. The moment I got off the phone with the nursing home I got on my knees. I thanked God for taking him home, ending his suffering and letting him walk again with both his late father and heavenly Father. His pain was over. He is now a life to be celebrated.

So here is a small list of things I will celebrate about my Dad.  His life and living brought them to me.

-Sitting still and observing the world around you is ok.

-How to plant a garden

-Well timed Humor, even dry can be hilarious

-Chevy Chase, Bill Murray and CaddyShack

-The rules of the game of golf

-and that the true character of a man can be seen on a golf course

(if you play with me, remember that one the next time you want a gimmee putt)

Dad passed along his love of music:

-Disc 2 of Person to Person by Average White Band (of course I heard it on an album)

-The funk and soul of James Brown

-Real South Carolina Shag Music

-The Golden oldies of the 1950’s-60’s

-Dad said accepting Christ as Lord and Savior was the most important decision I would ever make.

-He said Volunteering for the Navy was the second

Priorities before fun…that has made an amazing impact on my life and success

-How to fish, even though I only recall us going 3 times…it did stick in my mind

-Your personal signature goes on every job you undertake, if your character is important to you…do a good job.

My father left his signature. So celebrate the life that was lived, the man that he was and the people he left behind. We believe that his accepting Christ as personal Lord and Savior places him in heaven, free from earthly pain and suffering. And if you believe it too, then live it. Do not mourn his passing for long, death has no sting…celebrate his returning to the Lord.

Thank you and God Bless

I have never been as proud of BP than I am today.

I am so very blessed.

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cherilyn Rice
    Dec 23, 2009 @ 17:08:44

    Way to go, BP! His dad would have been honored, I am sure!

  2. hyperactive lu
    Dec 23, 2009 @ 17:19:32

    You were right! What awesome words to say good-bye with! You have a wonderful husband for those 3 precious little boys!

    Continuing to pray for your family! And Merry Christmas!

  3. EntertainingMom
    Dec 23, 2009 @ 18:00:33

    Oh Mandy, that was just beautiful! It was a perfect tribute and he and his father ought to be proud!

  4. Jessica
    Dec 23, 2009 @ 18:20:38

    That is absolutely beautiful…you should be very proud!

  5. jen@ourdailybigtop
    Dec 23, 2009 @ 18:48:37

    My condolences. Beautiful words – you are so blessed to have each other.

  6. Anti-Supermom
    Dec 23, 2009 @ 20:08:55

    Prayers for you, your husband and your family.

    An absolutely beautiful expression of their relationship.

  7. Saltybaby
    Dec 23, 2009 @ 23:11:09

    I loved that it was light-hearted and got a few laughs….Not tear jerking at all. BP did very GOOD!

  8. Shannon Bowers
    Dec 24, 2009 @ 10:01:32

    You both have such a way with words. BP is such a good man…proud to know you both!

  9. Missy
    Dec 24, 2009 @ 23:03:01

    That was just beautiful.

  10. Krystyn
    Dec 26, 2009 @ 21:03:50

    What beautiful words. He has a gift to write. Sounds like a wonderful relationship.

  11. Dana Ellis
    Dec 30, 2009 @ 07:20:46

    So beautiful and with something that put’s such pressure on a person. He did perfectly!

  12. margaret
    Jan 01, 2010 @ 09:30:25

    this made me cry—what a beautiful eulogy.

  13. Maria
    Jan 05, 2010 @ 12:47:32

    BP’s life, like his words, are a tribute and an honor to his Dad and his Mom.

  14. Jaina
    Jan 14, 2010 @ 14:28:18

    I’m so sorry. He sounds like a wonderful man. What a beautiful eulogy…brought me to tears several times. ::hugs:: to you all.

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